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[14 Jan 2007|09:00pm]

I love going to conventions but I hate the people who go to conventions
although the fact that everybody at conventions is easy makes it somewhat easier for me to bear attending
does that make me an easy person? I'm too busy trying to make passion with a girl dressed as a powerpuff girl to personally consider this

[06 Jun 2005|10:15pm]


Hey. Are you looking for a community where you can interact with people who are knowledgable, and love their drugs? Are you looking for a chance to use your chemical expertise for the benefit of others? Are you a person with a glorious habit, and proud of it?

Well, you've found such a community where the feeling has been mutualized and concentrated.

But first you must meet Our Standards, and win the hearts of OVER HALF of our members in the form of an application process, because we are in fact one of those elitist rating communities, and its simply a way to weed out the lightweights, tasteless idiots, and typical douchewads, from the motherfuckers who know the deal, US, YOU, US. okay? alright then....

Tired of drug communities infested with brainless twits perpetuating the stereotype of the unintelligent, irresponsible, tasteless drug user? Longing to discuss your chemical love affair and lifestyle with other well-educated, well-read, socially aware users? So are we.
29 violated|molest?

howdy. [18 Apr 2005|08:35pm]


[10 Mar 2005|03:37pm]

Take me off of this fucking community.
Someone broke in to my account and requested me to be on it.

Breathe ladies..... [15 Jul 2004|11:01am]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI had a binge last night. It might not sound like much of a binge to you, but to me it was really bad and I barely slept because of it. I don't think I even got 4 hours. I had a slice of toast and jam - and I only did half my alloted exercise time. I have my period and my legs just would not move - even though I did have a 300 cal dinner and Stacker earlier in the day. I feel disgusting. Then I ate some sweets this morning. I have alot of walking to do today though which makes it a bit easier - maybe after I am exhausted from exercise then I will feel clean again. I feel dirty - I just want to go up to the bathroom and drown myself really, make myself clean somehow, or else take the breadknife to my thighs... god I hate them. They have shrunk, but then they just make my arse and calves look chunkier. They should be made to pay either way, hehe :)Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI'm trying to be easy on myself, to be understanding but the trouble is when you feel like a person in your head only and you are trapped inside this body which is ugly and misshapen you really don't care too much what happens to it. I am body dysmorphic, I have AN with bulimic episodes, and I compulsively exercise. The only thing that would bother me about if I fractured my ankle would be not being able to exercise and how I'd not be able to eat at all. I do not want to die but I have very little regard for my body, the 'outer shell' if you like. My thoughts, my neurosis, my intelligence is me, the rest is just the husk of genetic matter I happen to inhabit. Is anyone else here very very detached from their own body? I can't actually remember a time when I didn't feel like that. Even as a child I didn't mind blood being taken or injuring myself - I just used to be very calm and look at what was going on with an almost morbid fascination. Because I can feel it, but it's strange when you get sensations but they feel wrong because the body isn't something you actually associate with being 'you' Know what I mean? My childhood was so totally fucked it's no wonder I was never 'normal'.
I'm leaving email comments on with this post because I'd be interested to hear any comments you have about BDD and alienation from your own being. I will pop them together on the site if that's okay. They might be useful to someone. The Angels BitCollapse )

A very special bonjour from Boutique [14 Jul 2004|11:06am]

Toodles everyone!
Please visit my LJ and follow my fabulous adventures!


Tah tah!

MKA Avatars [13 Jul 2004|01:43pm]

I made some MKA avatars seeing as I have noticed alot of people using them for avatars, so if you are looking for one then please feel free to use any of the following:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

[11 Jul 2004|04:05pm]

[ mood | angry ]

i hate pirates.

7 violated|molest?

Hmmmmm..... [02 Jul 2004|09:46am]

another distorted image by Angelica

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Had a strange couple of days. Always eat a bit when I'm ill because I just feel like I have ZERO energy and therefore need a little bit to keep me going. Hard to stomach when you are used to black coffee, and then a little dinner once a day about 7pm, but hey, apart from the fat gut and the fear and self loathing, it was fine [/sarcasm].
The worst bit about being ill is exercise. I find it so hard, whereas normally I need it more than anything else. Still got my fat arse on my bike and pedalled away but you know what it's like - unless you do your normal target, or better when you exceed it, then it's not good enough. That little voice talls you that you're a stupid lazy selfish cow for worrying about fainting in front of your family if you'd gone on, and how you should have burned that other 150 cals away anyway - especially as you ate in the day. Small flapjack and some rice cakes. Fuck me, I feel revolted at the mere thought of it.
Want me to link you? Click hereCollapse )

More site stuff information [23 Jun 2004|10:57am]

Today we have launched the Ana Haven Shop in association with Amazon. This basically sells a bunch of stuff of interest - topical books covering issues such as all ED's, self harm, depression, OCD and more. It also offers a range of fitness equipment and videos. Any commission earned from sales will be put back into keeping the site ad-free (as I'm paying for that) and making improvements where they can be made. You will find the link via the SHOP section at http://ana-angels.2ya.com. Some of the site-branded merchandise in the regular shop is on sale too - so please take a look.
If you want to let others know about the site then you can use the 'tell a friend' service on-site. There are a couple around on pages - easiest to go to the contacts section. Remember that is where the forum, live chat, buddy list and shoutbox are located too.
We'd like to offer some reader-designed wallpapers. If you can come up with an original/manipulated image in pink tone at a size of at least 1280x960 (1600x1200 300 dpi preferable) then please feel free to let us know. You could wind up being chosen as one of the official wallpapers. Just look at the colours of the site and realise it's meant to blend.
We have added a FFA links section to the links page if you are not interested in becoming a full affiliate. Please feel free to sign it to promote your journal, group or ed-related site.
Please use the email forms on site if you want to offer to help out or if you have any suggestions for the site. Ana-Angels if finally back in full swing and not going anywhere, we've had nearly 1100 hits to the front page in two days, and I'd love for anyone who wants to to get involved and make the community a busy one.

Please post up your history. [10 Jun 2004|12:48pm]

Pretty - and oddly enough nothing like meI thought it might be nice if we posted up our histories of how we came to be where we are now. It might just be interesting to see how much common ground most of us have. Please post these details either in a new message if you are a member of ANA ANGELS - or else pop it in the free-for-all BUDDY LIST.

Do you have a GENETIC PREDISPOSITION? Do ED's run in your family?
Did you have a stereotypical 'anorexic family' growing up? That is negative, where parents were interfering and overprotective and where expectations were unusually high to achieve and succeed? Did you avoid conflict with your family? One parent overbearing while the other was quite passive? Family rules so strong it was difficult to express your individuality?
Were you subjected to abuse - whether of a sexual, physical or emotional nature?
Did your ED start due to adolescent crisis?Were you stopped from taking risks at this age and was your homelife unstable at this time?
Did it start out as a desire to conform to the social desire to be slim?
Was it a part of searching for autonomy?
Did you inherit low self esteem from parents who feel that way about themselves?
Did it start around the time of a period of separation or loss?

Just thought it would be nice to share. I fall into almost every category and it's actually of some kind of comfort to know I'm just a textbook anorexic as opposed to being the freak I always felt like growing up. The person is inside my head, that is me. But 'the body' I am trapped in just makes me sick.

CROSS POSTED FROM EL-JAY [03 Mar 2004|06:45pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

it's been a few months since my last anxiety entry
and i know all of you love them because everyone
loves other people's pain. just warning again,
don't take everything literally - i exxagerate...it

let's start out with last night. last night,
i made a picture of shman. i liked this picture of
shman. i thought "hey! this is a kickass picture
of shman. i should go show my mom" her reaction
wasn't what i expected. granted, i should never
expect a good reaction but what she said could piss
off any guy who is for drag queens, transvestites
and transgendered people.

my mom: nice. but if you show that, people
might think there is something wrong with you.
me: how so? because shman is a transvestite?
my mom: well...yea.
me: is there anything wrong with them?
my mom: yes. i do believe so.
me: i feel sorry for you.
my mom: you shouldn't.

see, this is how my family thinks on
homosexuality. my dad thinks it is all a joke.
he never takes it seriously when i talk to him
about it. my mom finds it wrong. she'll try to
accept me but sometimes she just hates it.
i never expected her to act this way - i was
hoping for a more "jonathan, you're darling
whoever you like. i could care less" and my
brother - god my brother, my relationship with
him went downhill ever since the end of winter

and time - i've been just noticing how
fast it's been going. i just checked my march
3rd entry from 2003...i mean, there is less than
3 months of school left and...i mean, basically i'm
almost a sophmore. and i really noticed today,
i've been with my grade for 5 years. 5 years at
charles e. smith jewish day school...and
every year i was a retard - i still have 3 more
years to fuck up too.

and while on the topic of fucking up, here comes
my grades. geometry is the worst, next comes history.
i don't know what's going on. i'm trying so hard
this year to pull my grades us, to have an overall
grade that will please the colleges i apply to. it's
just so hard. all the teachers, all the faculty are just
so fake. they try to be helpful and seem interested
in you...but it's so fake. i can hardly stand
my teachers this year.

on a sidenote, i stepped in piss today because
some fucker decided it would be better to pee on the floor
into the drain instead of using the toilet. i have my shoes
in the wash right now...god, for the rest of the day
they smelt like piss. today hasn't been that great - i'm
sure that was an obvious guess. i really wish i could have
a brother right now to vent...but he could care less about

fuck, i'm such a pussy..i'm crying.

1 violated|molest?

Hi, my name is Krysta&I have an anger problem. [23 Feb 2004|02:20pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Wow, people who will listen to me bitch&moan! Well maybe not. that's okay.

Well, let's begin.

I fucking hate my family. Yeah, they're good to me when I take a step back and look at the big picture..But every day..It's all the same. Wake up. Get dressed. Asked the SAME THING every morning. "How're you?" How the Hell am I going to know that when I first wake up? I'm fine. Get a ride to school. "Smile, things aren't so bad." I'M NOT FUCKING SAD OR ANGRY. Asking the same god damn questions, and giving me the same fucking advice EVERY SINGLE DAY is what angers me. Repitition is a bitch. They're always making noise. I'm a solitary person a lot of the time, but I always have to put up with their crap. Four TVs are on in one house, pretty high volume. My Uncle is always flapping his fucking gums like an idiot and gloating about his new fucking job that HE DOESN'T DESERVE because he's never had to work hard for anything in his life. He reminds me of the Canadians in Sotuh park. Fucking trash can lid head people...Yeeeah. Anyway. I'm done now.

3 violated|molest?

[23 Nov 2003|03:48am]

My, my, my. It's been so long! You all thought darling Mimi was dead? Ha! Mimi never dies.

I haven't been participating in this community nor speaking to many people from it due to school and my very low attention span. Sorry. I have been taking my ritalin and that problem should clear up soon. JonJon and I will get together soon to figure out how to make this community a better place for you and your children, ja? Of course.

Nightie night, keep your butthole tight.


OSFDB!!! FJDASBHFL!!! UPDATE!!!! [16 Nov 2003|06:29pm]

Ich habe nicht mit Mimi in einer langen Zeit gesprochen und ich vermisse sie. Ich sollte sie einmal bedrängen. In anderen Nachrichten bin ich nicht zu dieser Gemeinschaft vor kurzem gekommen und ich werde ein guter Christ sein und diesen Platz ab sofort aktualisieren. Ich werde auch versuchen, mehr Leute zu veranlassen, herzukommen und den Plan möglicherweise zu ändern, obwohl jeder die Katze liebt. Sie bildet Sie heißes Innere. Das Ende.

omg, i hate you! :-)

...so i'll be updating this page from now on because i've been neglecting it. i might change the layout.

Sie aller Geruch mögen Eselscheiße!
2 violated|molest?

o0o0o0o LeTs BoNd o0o0o0o [05 Nov 2003|08:48pm]

[ mood | embarrassed ]

The mother made me go to the movies with her the other day... Embarassment city! I saw all my friends there, so I went to talk to them, and then my mom came up to us and started talkin like she was one of our friends... She was like it's a mother daughter bonding day for Candace and I. I was seriously gonna kill her!

This bitch Justina keeps instant messaging me, being all nice and then all of a sudden, she's like omg shut up... you're so annoying. Then she warns me, and blocks me. Then goes on another screen name to do it again... I'm like wow kid...way to be a bitch. Her screen name is BaByBoNeJ586... If you guys want it...


Continuing to hate Big Business [03 Nov 2003|10:34pm]

[ mood | discouraged/mortified ]

I'm not good enough for an UNPAID internship.

Said I didn't have enough office experience (I'm a flipping FT student!) and that I should take a class in Human Resource Management and try again later. I need more qualifications to work for free apparently. I have to really earn my right to put more money into something than I will ever get out of it.

I'm sorry I'm not of the intellectually elite few to have the mental capacity to pursue a BA in business (intense sarcasm).

If I'm not good enough after being a scholarship recipient, working on a double major and minor, completing the College Scholars Program, graduating early, and maintaining above a 3.0GPA for a job that doesn't pay, why am I even in school?!?

Honestly, I know so many people with college degrees that have been reduced to working retail because everyone wants "experience."

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that the idea of getting an internship was to gain "experience" in a field.

I'm gradually losing all hope for humanity

1 violated|molest?

[03 Nov 2003|08:58pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

I fucking hate the way you can't fucking tell me things aren't working out any fucking more. You can fucking fuck yourself.
Thank you.


When? [26 Sep 2003|12:14am]

Here in MD, Isabel hit hard and a hell of a lot of people lost power becasue gigantic trees and whatnot fell and took down cables. Now, about a week later, I see people with spraypainted trash cans and posters that say things likes "Pepco, Where's our power?" and "When, Pepco?" and "Pepco Sucks!". The first two are ok, but the third.... That pissed me off. Millions of people in the greater Washington area lost power, which means HOURS of work for electric companies. I'm really pissed that people are ignorant enough to think that they are being neglected by the very people that are working the HARDEST in our communities. I think they all should shut the hell up and if the wires are such a problem, go and fix it yourself, fuckers. I mean how would you feel if you worked your 8+ hour day chainsawing branches and logs only to be hounded by idiot signs on the side of the road on the way home. All those people should shut up. Losing power for 7 days is nothing, people in Iraq have lost it for 6 months.

[24 Sep 2003|10:10pm]

Becasue people like yourself post here, and you say things like "ppl", "LOL", and "fucktards".

Maybe they just haven't found what they're really angry at yet. Be patient.
1 violated|molest?

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